Electric Shadow

The Moral Of...Christmas in Handcuffs

Before we get to the Moral, I should note that I did not watch this ABC Family classic in its entirety, but rather, the last 45 minutes (including commercials) when I arrived home and prepared something to eat. It's a Christmas TV movie starring Melissa Joan Hart, Mario Lopez, Markie Post, and Timothy "That's My Bush" Bottoms. June Lockheart plays Cranky Grandma. Abduction and imprisonment of an attractive male stranger is the only way to work out one's issues with being a quirky, single, artistically-inclined woman. Men are moved to love by horror-styled abduction and handcuffing to the point that they'll realize you're really the one for them. Encourage your elderly grandmother's drunk driving habit for the hell of it, even though it engenders no character development and is never referred to again. The Moral Of... sprang forth fully-formed from the head of a post I made to my Twitter feed.
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My One and Only

You've probably never heard of this Renee Zellweger-starring film that features Chris Noth, Kevin Bacon, Eric McCormack, Steven Weber, and Nick Stahl. It costars Logan Lerman, who will or will not soon be super-famous starring in Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief.

The movie is about a story from George Hamilton's childhood that he told Merv Griffin. Griffin developed the project all the way until his death in 2007. Zellweger plays Hamilton's mother, and Lerman plays George in this road trip movie where a jilted mother takes her two boys with her to find a new man. It's light, frothy, and a little silly. Sometimes, that's what I'm in the mood for...not always, but sometimes. My One and Only is the kind of movie that Hollywood seems to have trouble believing in or knowing how to sell anymore. Just as the move to Violet Beauregarde expectations (I want it now) for news and reporting have threatened and killed so many print publications, narrative film has been at a crossroads for some years. In an ideal world, one could rent it from their couch for a nominal charge. The movie opened very limited back in August and it is now available for purchase on DVD at Target for $17. It was $10 on Black Friday, and I think they'd be moving a lot more units of it at that price. No one buys a movie they've never heard of (albeit with stars they know) for $20, but for $10, they'll consider it and end up dropping it in the cart. The DVD includes a behind-the-scenes and a making-of featurette.
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Mel Brooks vs. Mel Brooks vs. Rocky

Design isn't what something looks like, it's how it works. I'm paraphrasing here, but that's what came to mind when I opened MGM/Fox's new Blu-ray Mel Brooks Collection. The previous Brooks box included all the films here save Spaceballs: The Twelve Chairs, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, Silent Movie, High Anxiety, History of the World: Part I, To Be or Not To Be, and Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Brooks himself was involved in putting this set together, which is why you'll find newly-recorded featurettes with Brooks interviews on most titles in the set. UNBOX MB DVD MB BLU ROCKY 9 vs. 7 discs total
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Captain of the Jewish Debating Team

Warner Bros.' new Blu-ray of The Hangover is a relatively satisfying experience. It's one of the only really original, non-franchise (yet) studio releases of the year, and it remains one of the most memorable general audience pictures of the year. For five months, the girls who work in my apartment office have been asking me when "they" are sending The Hangover on DVD for me to review.

Tons of people will be buying this movie on one format or another. Only a few of the extras are really worth spending time with. I'll probably revisit the movie from time to time, but none of the supplements cry to be re-watched. There isn't a mountain of supplements to be devoured, but there are a couple of things that are worth your time here. To get it out of the way, the 8-minutes-longer "Unrated Cut" advertised on the box amounts to a couple of extended sequences and a new super-brief scene toward the end, but it's nothing racy or newly-revelatory. You get a couple more minutes with the tiger (when the guys take it in the elevator), and a little more Jeffrey Tambor. It's more of a "slightly longer, not as snappy" cut than an "Unrated" one. I'll edit this when I peg what they added in the opening ten minutes. The Picture in Picture commentary with director Todd Phillips and stars Ed Helms, Bradley Cooper, and Zach Galifianakis is really laid back. They touch on an interesting tidbit here and there, and seem as super-psyched (sarcasm intended) to be doing the video commentary as the Observe and Report folks were. The movie had been re-cut since the last time any of the actors had seen it, so they spend a lot of time exclaiming "oh, you added that back in, cool". At one point, Galifianakis relates how he met and was asked by Kanye West to be in one of the superstar's videos. My friend Luke will love the chatter about the baby's "Dutch Rudder" and how Phillips and Galifianakis negotiated it past the parents. I learned that term from Zack & Miri, by the way. The part that I rewound three times was when they bleep the word "dick" when Phillips says "...make you suck my dick" in the commentary to Galifianakis. That makes this a contender for the most ironic "Unrated cut" release of the year. Thank god that all the little children watching The Hangover on Blu-ray won't hear the director joke about the extra double gay thing he'll "make" one of the actors do to him. It's not the kind of thing that anyone should get up in arms about, but it's worth noting as an outstanding and hilarious moment in the history of censorship. The two extras worth watching right off the bat are the Gag Reel [8:16] and The Madness of Ken Jeong [7:56], which shows off some really unhinged alternate riffs he did as "Mr. Chow". The one Map of Destruction featurette to look at is the "Mike Tyson's House" one, in which the title of this article is uttered. Also in the mix are a 30-second mashup of the various action bits, the "Three Best Friends" song and the Dan Band performance of "Fame", none of which particularly interested me. Trust me and do not raise your expectations whatsoever for the "100 NEW Photos from the Missing Camera" advertised on the box. They've put some featurettes online-only through the WB BD-Live portal. They include a cursing mash-up and the Tyson Sings teaser. The PiP commentary and the BD-Live stuff is only on the Blu-ray.

A Digital Copy is thrown on the Blu-ray, which is currently $15.99 on Amazon, $4 less than the 2-disc DVD. New release Blu-rays are finally hitting DVD-like first week price points! The Blu, DVD, Digital Download, and On Demand versions of The Hangover go live this coming Tuesday, 12.15.
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Imagined Memories of an Immigrant



My father was a teenager during the revolution and the ousting of Fulgencio Batista, and I've spent my whole life being told myriad conflicting versions of what things were like then, since, and now. Sometimes that storm of disagreement came from his own conflicted and confused memories of that time in Cuba's history. A fair warning to those who don't know many Cubans: conversations about politics span not only hours, but days. Likewise, those with embedded stakes in Cold War-era politics will debate the most minute of details, and those on both ends of the political spectrum will effortlessly tell you that you don't know "the real truth" about anything. Regular readers of this column know that on the US political spectrum, I fall definitively left of center. My sympathies regarding the Castro revolution lie with the lower classes of Cuba, and not the wealthy upper class that fled the country with Batista and the majority of the national treasury. I don't condone or support the Castro regime, but I likewise do not support the US taking it over and putting a Starbucks on every corner. Soderbergh's movie does not deal with the mass executions at La Cabana (which occurred after the events in Part 1), nor does it touch on various moments that subject matter experts consider significant and iconic in Guevara's very full life. I'm fine with that, because those events may be important to those positing their individual take on Guevara's worth as a human being, but not to the narrative they intended here. Che is a chronicle of two military campaigns, and the through-line of how failure inevitably follows success.
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Pandora-Free Zone

With the exception of this post, I'm not touching anything Avatar today. Hopefully, that's a marked alternative compared to the plethora of people who will break embargo faster than light after now-unspooling screenings, whether in articles or on their Twitter feeds (albeit in code). I'm skipping the press screening here in Austin because I have too many other things to do. My expectation is that people will once again suddenly explode with predictions of this being the next huge Cameron box office success and bomb in an equal split. I'll see it at some point, but it's not leaving theaters any time soon.
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Maintenance Day

I'm prepping some pieces to be posted tomorrow and Friday, before BNAT completely destroys my sleep schedule for 25 hours and then some. I'll try to tweet during the event, since I know various cohorts managed to last year (I didn't even try). The Mel Brooks Blu-ray set arrived yesterday. I hate the packaging but like the book. More tomorrow, including video of a flaw in the case that at least five people have reported.
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The Moral Of...Four Christmases

Hide everything from the person you love and everything will work out to domesticated bliss. Any insane thing that your parents do is totally normal, because when people get older, they do the craziest shit you could imagine.

The Moral Of... sprang forth fully-formed from the head of a post I made to my Twitter feed.

Christmas 3 Weeks Early

This would have been posted yesterday, but in a page taken out of a Christmas movie, I was locked out of our car and stranded at an outlet mall. Before all that happened, my in-laws has come into town for a long weekend (since we wouldn't be able to visit during Christmas proper), so I had a perfect use for the stack of Christmas-themed discs that have been piling up. Here are quick thoughts on some Christmas-themed titles I have not (and some I have) covered that have been released this year. I'll probably do a second installment of this, since I didn't have Criterion's A Christmas Tale in time to include it here.

A Very Sunny Christmas (Blu-ray & DVD) Last year, my non-traditional (or is it?) Christmas Special of choice was Stephen Colbert's A Colbert Christmas. Thankfully, there's something this year that carries a similarly irreverent tone. I've watched this three times to counterbalance the ABC Family junk that's been clogging the airwaves on more than just that network. The cast of the show does what people do in so many of these specials: they rediscover the magic of Christmas. Charlie and Mac appear at one point in videos from their childhood (with deleted scenes included on the disc) that are funnier to regular viewers of the show. That isn't to say that not being a fan diminishes the quality of the program in any way. The DVD/Blu-ray also includes a Behind-the-Scenes/Making-of piece and a Sing-a-long.

Santa Buddies (Blu-ray & DVD) I wasn't dying to watch Santa Buddies the moment it arrived, but I knew at some point I had to find out what George Wendt and Christopher Lloyd were doing in something this soul-draining. This is the fourth direct-to-video spinoff of Disney's Air Bud, a relatively enjoyable kids' movie from 1997 (the year I started high school!). The back cover of this movie is so intent on declaring it a "Christmas classic" that it mentions this...three times? They introduce a canine counterpart to Santa Claus: Santa Paws. How absolutely ingenious a play on words. There are some moments of acting from Lloyd and Wendt that transcend the extraordinarily boring script. The trailer has one great laugh that is funnier there than in the movie itself: when a little Yorkie starts singing like a Disney Channel starlet. This movie reminds me of the really terrible Christmas specials that air on the ABC Family network this time of year. That isn't to say everything they show is terrible, but most of it is. I'm not a complete snob when it comes to entertainment for small children, but if you're going to subject any kids to this, make sure they're young enough that they won't mind the crass opportunism. Extras on the Blu-ray include some sing-along Christmas songs and a DVD copy of the movie. Four Christmases (Blu-ray & DVD) From my review earlier: If this movie continued at the same level as the opening scene, I wouldn't have lost interest so quickly during its 88 minute length. My mother-in-law watched it after watching The Proposal and said this one was "just all right, I guess" compared to "really enjoying" The Proposal. Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon are great individually, but they don't have much to do here. Extras include a couple of featurettes and a Gag Reel. "Seven-Layer Holiday Meals in a Flash" is hosted by TV food star Paula Deen and Katy Mixon, who plays Favreau's country-fried wife in the movie and Kenny Powers' hometown sweetheart in Eastbound and Down. The other featurette isn't much more than "gee, how close to real-life craziness was that scene in the movie, right?". The Gag Reel is better than the movie in terms of second-for-second laughs, as any reel of its sort featuring Vaughn. This one hit the street on 11.24. The Judy Garland Holiday Special (DVD only) Liza Minelli performs "Steam Heat" in this B&W special from 1963. Jack Jones is in it too, along with Mel Torme, Lorna & Joey Luft, and Tracy Everitt. There's a not-surprising (for the year it was made) emphasis on songs from Oliver! and Judy closes the thing out with Somewhere Over the Rainbow a full 24 years after she appeared in The Wizard of Oz. This is the kind of holiday special that's worth watching or having on DVD. White Christmas (DVD only) The only reason I can suppose this didn't hit Blu-ray simultaneously with this new DVD version is no time, money, or incentive in putting this in HD when Blu-ray hasn't yet taken over as the new standard. This edition has some nice new extras and pimps the live stage show that's touring various cities this winter. It's a Wonderful Life (Blu-ray) I did the unthinkable and allowed the colorized version to be played in my house. My mother-in-law and wife prefer it to the black and white. My father-in-law seemed to be ambivalent on the matter. This is one classic film for which I don't feel the need for extras. I don't watch it every year, but more like every few years. Owners of previous DVDs get a $10 rebate on this Blu-ray.
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How Many Christmases?


If this movie continued at the same level as the opening scene, I wouldn't have lost interest so quickly during its 88 minute length. My mother-in-law watched it after watching The Proposal and said this one was "just all right, I guess" compared to "really enjoying" The Proposal. Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon are great individually, but they don't have much to do here. Robert Duvall was good, but the "redneck dad" scene was unfairly and inaccurately stereotypical. Show me someone who lives in rural America who doesn't know how a satellite TV system works. Jon Favreau and Tim McGraw do tear it up as Vaughn's abusive, nasty brothers. The evangelical church that had the energy and good vibes of a gangbang was hilarious, however. Take it from someone who was immersed in that world as a kid. Kristin Chenoweth's presence as a real-life evangelical made the scene yet more enjoyable. Dwight Yoakam could convert most of the non-Christian world single-handedly. Sissy Spacek and her boy-friend work nicely. Some of the things that come up during a game of Taboo are vomit-worthy. Jon Voight's father-daughter chat with Witherspoon's Kate is unexpectedly charming and a little touching, considering his own daddy-daughter communication issues. It's almost like Clooney in Up in the Air, but I'm not certain Voight gets how close to himself he's playing here. Extras include a couple of featurettes and a Gag Reel. "Seven-Layer Holiday Meals in a Flash" is hosted by TV food star Paula Deen and Katy Mixon, who plays Favreau's country-fried wife in the movie and Kenny Powers' hometown sweetheart in Eastbound and Down. The other featurette isn't much more than "gee, how close to real-life craziness was that scene in the movie, right?". The Gag Reel is better than the movie in terms of second-for-second laughs, as any reel of its sort featuring Vaughn. This one hit the street on 11.24.
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HD Guide: So You Want to Buy a Blu-ray Player

I found myself incorporating a great deal of what I'm going over in this installment in the Black Friday Buying Guide. I've reworked and consolidated the basics of picking a Blu-ray player here.

Profile 1.0 vs. 1.1 vs. 2.0: What That Means 1.0 & 1.1: Birds of a Feather A Profile 1.0 or 1.1 Blu-ray player may not play newer discs well or at all (in theory). They also do not support internet connection for firmware updates or BD-Live. To update the firmware, you generally have to download a file from the manufacturer's website, mount it as a CD image, and then burn that to disc. If all of that meant gibberish to you, then you are among the 90% of people on the planet that are disadvantaged by this "inconvenience". BD-Live pretty much blows at this point anyway, so you aren't missing much on that front. Across the board, it takes forever for them to open the tray after you push eject, and the load times are longer than any 2.0 player. 1.0 players do not support BonusView (though 1.1 players do), which includes all of the pop-up trivia tracks or enhanced commentary tracks. BonusView features can be found on a lot of discs, and the studios all use different names for it. Disney, for example, calls this Cinexplore. Warner Bros. uses BonusView for their Maximum Movie Mode found on Watchmen, 300, and Terminator Salvation, among others. 2.0: The Wave of the Future All Profile 2.0 players support internet connection in one way or another, whether over ethernet or WiFi. Any one of these players should, without fail or hesitation, play all the Blu-ray discs currently on the market. Not all 2.0 players are created alike. Newer ones tend to load and open the tray much faster. None of the older players support BD-Live, but these do. The only BD-Live feature I've thus far found even marginally useful to anyone is the IMDb Live Lookup on some Fox discs. The real reason to flock to 2.0 players is the newer, faster operating system for the player. Services, "Apps", and So On Now we're seeing newer Blu-ray players with built-in compatibility for services like Netflix Watch Instantly (the most popular), Pandora for free music streaming, YouTube, and Roxio CinemaNow. Honestly, if you already have a device that does things like Watch Instantly, then just get a good player that loads quickly and ignore the extra bells and whistles. WiFi versus Ethernet Not having Wifi built-in isn't a deal-breaker, but it makes things like firmware updates (which happen fairly often) a pain in the ass. On top of that, BD-Live is no big loss, but if you want to use new features like Netflix Watch Instantly or Pandora...get ready to run a cable or spend extra for a Wifi adapter of some kind ($75-95 depending on model and quality). Until prices come down a bit on the WiFi-enabled players with the extras (if you care about those) or not, it's actually cheaper to get one of the hard-wired ethernet players and one of these adapters. WiFi Adapters and Dongles If you have a Samsung player that's "WiFi ready", then you can go with the proprietary Samsung USB Wifi Adapter. Otherwise, you'll need the brand-agnostic Linksys Dual Band Wireless-N Adapter. Brand Loyalty I trust the following brands: LG, Samsung, Sony, and Panasonic. The more recent the model, the better. Amazon does a great job of listing the date of release on these. The HD Guide is an ongoing series focusing on the evolving world of HD in the home: getting started, understanding the lingo, and appreciating the best (and worst) discs that are out there.
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The Moral Of...Night at the Museum 2

Resisting the urge to grow old in the bowels of a museum banging a mannequin that looks like Amy Adams and comes to life only at night is a virtue. You can always retreat into your younger, more ambitious self to avoid the pressures of fame and success. Always leave your kid at home so that he can provide you and the audience with ample exposition via cell phone.

The Moral Of... sprang forth fully-formed from the head of a post I made to my Twitter feed.

The Moral Of...Overboard

Sometimes all an uppity rich bitch needs to learn her lesson is a good knock upside the head and amnesiac sex with a day laborer. Misinformed consensual sex and plenty of housework are the secret to happiness for women everywhere. Being an otherwise loutish, lazy bastard is fine as long as you're a single parent. Accountability is always too much of a pain in the ass!

I'm realizing how often "misinformed consensual sex" is going to appear in The Moral Of's for romantic comedies.

The Moral Of... sprang forth fully-formed from the head of a post I made to my Twitter feed.

Disc Roundup (TV) November 2009

With this post, we bid adieu to the month of November's disc releases (with the exception of individual reviews I've got coming). Adieu until, of course, I complete the Discs of the Year series of posts for 2009. Week of 11.03 Catalog Release of the Week Disney Treasures: Zorro Seasons 1 & 2 (DVD only) This is the kind of treatment a show of this stature deserves. I've found that the cases are extremely prone to scratching. New Release of the Week (tie) The Genius of Charles Darwin Some thoughts on this one are coming rather shortly. G.I. Joe: Resolute (DVD only) If the live-action Joe movie had the balls Warren Ellis put on this cartoon, I'd have been half-interested. I said as much in my review. New Release Clone Wars Catalog Mission: Impossible Season 7 Fraggle Rock The Final Season Fraggle Rock Complete Series Here's Lucy Season 2 The Donna Reed Show Season 3 The Shield Complete Series Spin City Season 3 Edge of Darkness Complete Series Week of 11.10 Catalog Release of the Week G.I. Joe Complete Series (DVD only) I would have lost my mind as a kid to have been able to get my hands on this set. New Release Stories from the Vaults Season 2 Tom Cavanagh guides viewers on a tour of things that aren't often seen when you visit the Smithsonian on vacation. I wish I had this channel on the entry-level tier Digital Cable package I pay Time Warner Cable too much for each month. One of the featurettes on the DVD set covers the premiere of Night at the Museum 2. I found a single episode of this show more entertaining than that entire movie. Catalog The Untouchables Season 3 Volume 2 Week of 11.17 Blu-ray Upgrade of the Week Rome Complete Series (Blu-ray & DVD) All the existing DVD extras from the separate Seasons 1 & 2 sets are carried over here. Newly-added is an optional historical fact track. The Blu-ray set was on sale at Amazon yesterday for $60. New Release of the Week A Very Sunny Christmas (Blu-ray & DVD) It takes a very special show to make modern episodic TV worth watching. A review is coming in an all-Christmas-themed post. New Release The Little Couple Season 1 My wife and I love this show. Dr. Jen Arnold and her husband Bill are very interesting people, and this TLC show that documents their newlywed life together bucks the trend of most reality TV. Catalog The Steve Coogan Collection I'm dying to get my hands on this. I've seen bits and pieces of various shows included in this thing. Andy Barker, PI Another dead Andy Richter show, Andy Barker wasn't as good as Andy Richter Controls the Universe. Glad it's out there and available now. Week of 11.24 British Import of the Week Life on Mars Season 2 (DVD only) Acorn Media has brought the second half of Life on Mars to DVD in Region 1 at last. This one is part of this week's first Discs of the Year installment: The Best of British TV on Disc. Catalog Release of the Week Alfred Hitchcock Presents Season 4 (DVD only) This is one of my favorite shows I've ever seen. Blu-ray Upgrade of the Week The Sopranos Season 1 (DVD only) Like I said the other day, "Considering that I never watched the show, I could see digging right in to it right away. Yes, I realize that I'm probably the only person in the world who hasn't watched The Sopranos." New Release of the Week Three Sheets Season 4 (DVD only) This show is the rare little show that could. Originally shown on a network I'd never herd of (let alone watched), its dedicated fanbase of pub crawl enthusiasts petitioned it all the way to the Fine Living Network. New Release Kobe Doin' Work This game-in-the-life piece was directed by die-hard Lakers fan Spike Lee. Individual coverage for this coming this week. Law & Order: Criminal Intent Season 4 I don't recall if this is the season when Jeff Goldblum joined the show or the one just before. Catalog Superman: The Complete Animated Series Hogan's Heroes: The Komplete Series Kommandant's Kollection The Best of Spike Jones The Jerry Lewis Collection TV on Disc is generally posted a few days after the corresponding week's Disc Roundup (Movies) and covers the week's TV releases on DVD & Blu-ray. Unless otherwise noted, assume that screener copies of titles reviewed were provided by the respective studio.
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Disc Roundup (Movies) November 2009

There's a certain point when you get so far behind that you feel like you're ahead. I've yet to discover that alternate dimension. The last month has been full of frustrating conflicts and the usual seasonal malaise. I've got to get the previous month worth of Roundups posted so I can move on.

A lot of what's to come below will be extremely brief, but I've either already written this stuff up, it doesn't really require much depth, or I haven't touched the release in question. The TV version of this item will run later today, and the first week of December will be up by the morning. Week of 11.03

Catalog Blu-ray Upgrade of the Week North by Northwest (Blu-ray & DVD) "I didn't think I'd be as stunned as I was within the opening minutes of watching Warner's North by Northwest Blu-ray..." Full review here. New Release of the Week Food, Inc. (Blu-ray & DVD) Good on Magnolia for picking this one up, and good for it being Oscar shortlisted. New Release G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Blu-ray & DVD) I don't know when or why I'd make time for this one. The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 (Blu-ray & DVD) This movie is better than you might think. I Love You, Beth Cooper (Blu-ray & DVD) A horrible movie with a too-old-for-the-part lead guy. Avoid this at all costs. Aliens in the Attic (Blu-ray & DVD) The most annoying thing about this disc is the forced intro before the movie, where High School Musical star Ashley Tisdale says "hey guys, it's me Ashley Tisdale, hope you enjoy watching Aliens in the Attic. blahblahblah". It's not optional, it just plays when you tell the disc to "Play Movie". The guy who plays her boyfriend in the movie is an extremely gifted physical comedian. Kevin Nealon, Andy Richter, and Tim Meadows make the most of what they have to work with. I must admit that Doris Roberts doing wire-fu was fun. The movie isn't really that bad compared to all the family-friendly PG junk cranked out each year. Catalog New to Blu Wings of Desire The Criterion Collection Howard's End The Criterion Collection Both of these, based on friends and colleagues' accounts, are rather wonderful. I'll have to catch up with them down the road. It's a Wonderful Life Forrest Gump I dashed off some thoughts on these here. The picture on both is exceptional. Wonderful Life splits the shameful colorized version onto its own disc. A Christmas Carol I have no idea how good of a job VCI did on this. This Alistair Sim-starring version is a favorite of many. They include a DVD of the film with the Blu-ray (smart). Rocky: The Undisputed Collection As I said earlier, the transfers on these are "as close as I've seen to 'a film print at home'...Yes, they're grainy, but that's how they're supposed to look." Love Actually I'm a sucker for a couple sequences in here. I was recently-single when I first saw it, and every manipulative, cloying moment worked on me back then. Say Anything From my review: "The contents are worth the upgrade, but that cover is going to chain me to a desk to Photoshop my own." Catalog Columbia Film Noir (DVD only) The Big Heat / 5 Against the House / The Lineup / Murder by Contract / The Sniper The only title previously on legitimate (non-public domain, lousy transfer) DVD is The Big Heat. The Sniper has never been on DVD (in the US at least). The Claudette Colbert Collection (DVD only) Three-Cornered Moon / Maid of Salem / I Met Him in Paris / Bluebeard's Eighth Wife / No Time for Love / The Egg and I These titles are all new to DVD with the exception of The Egg and I, previously available as part of The Adventures of Ma & Pa Kettle Volume 1. Reissue White Christmas (DVD only) Paramount added some bells and whistles to this double dip. Direct to Video Command Performance (Blu-ray & DVD) Dolph Lundgren + military action movie he directed himself. Not Forgotten (DVD only) Simon Baker and Paz Vega in a movie I gather isn't necessarily that bad. Hardwired (DVD only) I'll watch this one this week. It stars Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Val Kilmer, with a supporting turn by the excellent Michael Ironside that the box and press release don't go into detail about. Gooding's wife dies and he wakes up to find he's been implanted with a mind-control device that forces him to kill people. Kilmer is some sort of corporate weirdo tracking Gooding's every move. Oddly, Kilmer looks dorky and disheveled on the back cover but clean-cut and handsome on the front. Week of 11.10

Vintage Blu-ray Upgrade of the Week The General I've only taken a little more time to play with this disc since I wrote about it here, but I've gotten all the way through watching the movie now. The picture quality really holds up nicely throughout. New Release of the Week UP (Blu-ray & DVD) I covered both this and Monsters here. New Release Must Read After My Death (DVD only) This looks really intriguing. Suppressed suburban secrets and the facade of normality wrestle one another in this found media documentary. The filmmaker's grandmother left an amazing archive of stuff behind. The only thing he added were his own voice reading correspondence and editing. It's going into the top tier of my "Where Do I Find the Time For This Thing I Find Interesting?" list. Watchmen: The Ultimate Cut(Blu-ray & DVD) I think I'll stick with the Director's Cut if and when I need to re-watch this thing. The Ugly Truth (Blu-ray & DVD) This movie spends away whatever moral high ground Katherine Heigl thought she had when she called her role in Knocked Up "sexist". The Alternate Endings are the same morally compromised garbage as the regular one. The Accidental Husband (DVD only) My The Moral Of entry on this one sums up how I feel about the movie. The Answer Man (Blu-ray & DVD) I hadn't heard of this one until I saw it on the release list. It looks interesting. Spread (Blu-ray & DVD) The Merry Gentleman (Blu-ray & DVD) Ballast (Blu-ray & DVD) Catalog New to Blu Heat I've set aside time to do a side-by-side comparison in the two cuts this week. I'll report back. Near Dark Now with Twilight-esque cover! Logan's Run The Negotiator Covered here. Monsters, Inc. Godzilla (USA) Red Heat Week of 11.17

Vintage Blu-ray Upgrade of the Week Gone With the Wind (DVD also) They've finally gotten the color, contrast, and resolution perfect. Recent Blu-ray Upgrade of the Week (tie) Clerks / Chasing Amy / Fight Club I covered the two Kevin Smith films here and have something on its way for Fight Club. New Release of the Week Star Trek(2009) (Blu-ray & DVD) This was lavished with praise here. Trek is one of the very best new release home video titles of the year thus far. New Release My Sister's Keeper (Blu-ray & DVD) My review hits tomorrow, including a look at the alternate ending that sets up a franchise (kidding, kidding). Bruno (Blu-ray & DVD) I'm surprised I ended up defending this movie. Thirst (DVD only) Limits of Control (DVD only) Is Anybody There? (Blu-ray & DVD) Franklyn (Blu-ray & DVD) The Canyon (DVD only) Catalog New to Blu Galaxy Quest Leon: The Professional Sex, Lies, and Videotape Catalog New to DVD Downhill Racer (The Criterion Collection) Jeff has covered this one pretty extensively. The Exiles This is a wonderful addition to any cineaste's film education. Reviewed in full here. Week of 11.24

New Release of the Week (tie) Gomorrah (The Criterion Collection) (Blu-ray & DVD) A raw, brutal movie that demands great treatment. This is yet another addition to my Criterion backlog. Three Monkeys (DVD only) Jeff's gone on about this movie so much I feel an imperative to track this down before the end of the year. Direct to Video Release of the Week The Maiden Heist (DVD only) This is another Yari Film Group movie whose theatrical plans fizzled when the company went under. I haven't watched it yet, but I expect it to at least rent well for the same reason I want to watch it: Walken, Freeman, and Macy star along with Marcia Gay Harden. They could have called it Grumpy Old Heist. I'm glad they didn't. New Release Funny People (Blu-ray & DVD) This is a better movie than its reviews might indicate. It slows in the third act, but is worth the ride. Angels & Demons (Blu-ray & DVD) I'm tackling this one next week before BNAT devours me whole. Shorts (Blu-ray & DVD) I have an individual piece on this one pegged for Wednesday. I want to get into how few movies for kids are really made for kids currently. Santa Buddies (Blu-ray & DVD) Four Christmases (Blu-ray & DVD) I'm sure everyone reading this has been anxiously anticipating my reviews of these titles. I have good news: the wait will be over by Monday. Catalog New to Blu Angel Heart The Monster Squad New Police Story Blood: The Last Vampire (Anime) Frailty Way of the Gun Cujo Air America Ichi the Killer My Brilliant Career Catalog New to DVD Mad Dog Morgan Hopper's Troma classic is finally available on disc. Reissue Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (DVD only) This is the DVD version of the wonderful Blu-ray that came out about 6 months ago. Disc Roundup (Movies) is posted as promptly as is possible, depending on how many discs there are to get through. Unless otherwise noted, assume that screener copies of titles reviewed were provided by the respective studio.
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The Moral Of...The Ugly Truth

Being a career-focused, independent woman will lead to psychological disorders only curable by banging a Scotsman who should have been allowed to use his native accent since it slips out all the time anyway. Being a human sex toy for your man will transform you into the obedient, servile Stepford Slut every guy wants and deserves. Lighten up you uptight bitch, and unfurl your skank flag!

The Moral Of... sprang forth fully-formed from the head of a post I made to my Twitter feed.