I've spent the better part of a week figuring out how to phrase what I'm going to say about Jennifer's Body without being perceived as sexist, mean, or irresponsible. Here goes.

The handful of people who've defended JB since its initial release are applauding what it represents rather than the half-baked, alternately bland and over-spiced dish that came out of the oven. Most specifically, defenders love the idea of a horror movie that doesn't involve a lot of rape-with-no-escape scenarios, female torture fetish situations, and loads of stalked n' murdered women.

I like that idea too, but the disparate ingredients used here are like some Iron Chef contestant went nuts trying to be original and stuck whole sardines in a chicken pot pie. A friend once said that when women complain to him about horror movies always being about killing young women, he said, "we'll stop taking you to movies about killing you when you stop taking us to movies about you marrying us where you are played by an anorexic blonde." I'm far from a gorehound, but I agree with him to an extent. I feel that a horror movie can be about killing boys and not drag and make you want to do yourself in, but this time around they missed the mark.

The Blu-ray features two commentaries: one with director Karyn Kusama and Diablo Cody (the Theatrical Cut) and one with just Kusama (Unrated). I haven't had the time to go all the way through them, but the first chunk of the double-team one is very sparse and no more enlightening than the overlong movie itself. I haven't so much as touched Kusama's solo one. Also included are deleted scenes, a making-of featurette, behind-the-scenes video diaries, a gag reel, and (believe it) extras dedicated specifically to Megan Fox.