You can collect loads of good karma by thanking people for not raping you.

Intellectual women aren't so goddamn smart.

In a dwindling industry, no one should be expected to copy edit the crossword puzzles.

Stalking will lead you to enlightenment.

Feed OCD and social anxiety disorders, but starve common sense and self-preservation.

You can get a combination of set pieces from Twister and Jurassic Park on screen if you wrap them in a romantic comedy.

Exploiting the deaf for comedic effect will never go out of style in Hollywood.

Rescued children gain healing powers that eliminate the need for a hospital visit.

A side of Katy Mixon goes well with everything.

Hell is other people, but worse hell is avoiding the rest of society.

The Morals Of... sprang forth fully-formed from the head of a post I made to my Twitter feed.