The Grand Canyon Effect

At the age of 13 I saw the Grand Canyon, in person, for the first time.

Spring Break was a wasteland of anything to do in suburban Dallas, and the opportunity to go presented itself in an optional school trip to the Four Corners states. The sights I would see, the pictures I brought back, and the money I raked in playing poker would be unforgettable.

Arches, Bryce Canyon, and a variety of other National Parks became permanently stamped in my memory, along with the fact that I got along better with the sponsors than with most of the kids on the trip itself. Toward the end of the trip, we set in on the big Kahuna: Grand Canyon in Arizona.

Growing up, you hear amazing things about this natural masterwork, and see scads of pictures. By the time you see it in person, whether at thirteen or thirty, it's not nearly as awe-inspiring because you've had all that majesty related to you way ahead of time.

By the end of our time in Grand Canyon, the most memorable thing was the price list at the local McDonald's, where their St. Patrick's Day Mint Milkshake cost four bucks and change, while a burger meal cost upwards of seven.

What the hell does any of this have to do with Ang Lee's wonderfully-composed Brokeback Mountain? I fell victim to the Grand Canyon Effect when I saw it, as will, I suppose, most of America. Everyone knows in advance what it's about, and that it ends tragically. It's getting too much coverage too fast.

Those who are staunch defenders of the film are rushing to quell the far right and naysayers, but at the same time have in effect "let the terrorists win" by watering down the effect for most of the moviegoing public. Tallahassee, a major blue-state city in a predominantly blue county, doesn't get it until January 13 at the earliest. I saw it in Dallas because I was already tired of waiting in November.

All that said, Brokeback really holds you and it breaks my heart in the last act, mostly thanks to a few under-recognized performances from Linda Cardellini, Kate Mara, and Roberta Maxwell. Jeff has thankfully had the means to do a lovely writeup and tribute to this lady in the current column on the main page of Elsewhere, which I urge you to read. He's made mention of these women and their vital performances to the film, and I couldn't agree more.

Why hasn't anyone picked out Randy Quaid's turn toward the beginning of the film as solid and authentic? The cowboys aren't just homosexuals in a straight-friendly world, they're non-western actors in a western movie, and Quaid brought that immediately to mind.

If I were a betting man (and I am), I'd pose a guess that Brokeback, frontrunner though it may seem at the moment, will fall to a sleeping giant in the Picture category.

Brokeback, by my estimation, could very easily lose steam, and to be fair, it's wonderful, but I think Match Point has it on overall points. Even though I haven't seen Munich and a few other contenders, I not only call this the best all-around movie I've seen all year, but also the lead contender for Best Picture. If there's one constant I've seen over the years in the Hollywood award dance, it's people changing partners tons of times before the clock strikes.

Heath Ledger does great here comparative to his other work for sure, but his performance is nuanced and quiet, emulating but not embodying the part like a Brando or (for a Western vet) Warren Oates would have. Good for Heath, but this doesn't put him in the pantheon like Phillip Seymour Hoffman's Capote does.

Jake Gyllenhaal has his moments of strength, but others that reminded me how often I see him giving us lines as Jake with a mustache and age makeup rather than as Jack. Michelle Williams really is the best lead performance in the pic, and Anne Hathaway does a lot more with her part than most critics have given her credit for doing.

The acting is very well-done by all accounts, but there are issues of cohesion that linger throughout. You've got Randy Quaid/Roberta Maxwell- level talent and authenticity right next to city boys being a bit out of place. The score threads simply and effectively throughout, and the pictures are pretty as hell, but there are some pieces that don't fit quite right.

The kissing at one point reminds me of how Dennis Quaid described how he and his partner in Far From Heaven went about it the wrong way: they were men kissing like kissing was a physical strength contest. Even for being men of that time when there was no Bravo on cable, that kiss just didn't read at all.

Little nitpicks like the above don't count too much with a picture that amounts to such a gorgeous big picture as Brokeback, but they make the difference between being on pitch and being just the tiniest bit too sharp.

The Point

Match Point is it, folks. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's the bee's knees, for all intents and purposes. Without going into plot detail, it's relatable, fine-tuned, and surprising (all in multiple ways).

It's the best reason for there to be an Ensemble Acting award at the Oscars, it's a return to form (by all accounts) for Woody Allen, and it easily surprises anyone who doesn't read too much about the movie in advance. Issues of love, lust, fidelity, trust, betrayal, materialism, and social class all come up and are all at the forefront of the story.

I've wanted to enjoy Jonathan Rhys-Meyers in a movie ever since I started avoiding movies that feature him, and he's very good here. Not one word or gesture coming from him seemed to mischaracterize his role in the least.

That second sentence is true of every single actor I can think of in the movie, the ensemble is that good.

I've found myself saying "Fuck me, that was good" ever since seeing it last Thursday, 29th December.

Woody Allen really hits the mark with what I can honestly say is the worst date movie of the year.

Trust me.

The Promise of Gossip

Rumor Has It... had a promising, up-and-coming screenwriter-turned-director (Ted Griffin) attached to it, as well as an extremely bankable cast. There was a direct connection to one of the most iconic popular movies of the 1960's, The Graduate, and everything seemed to be going to plan.

Then the director got dumped, some gossips say it was a result of "creative differences with star Jennifer Aniston that amounted to a star trying to direct from the wrong side of the camera, with Aniston wanting it to be more of a vehicle than true to the script she signed on for originally.

Griffin got dumped for Rob "Alex & Emma makes us forget he made This is Spinal Tap" Reiner and everything went to shit, apparently. Thanks to the critical press as well as the ticket-buying (who didn't) public, that's precisely what happened. It was up against seven bazillion other things that had many times better quality grades. It couldn't have won if it had tried.

Here's the thing: I can appreciate the movie, not only as a student of anthropology, but as an actor who's performed in far-less-than-stellar circumstances.

The script itself is an interesting twisted family issues story with a redemptive ending and a novelty premise that (again, allegedly) got completely fucked by one casting choice. Shirley MacLaine makes the most of the mess around her by adapting the character she wanted to play into the goofball surroundings she got stuck with. Your heart shatters along with Mark Ruffalo, but when he isn't around, it's a wacky slapstick escapade. Kevin Costner is so "in" it isn't even funny. Richard Jenkins is always so precise it's a shame no one will see him tear the shit out of this role as Aniston's father.

Aniston, meanwhile, is in another movie most of the time. She has moments of genuine empathy, but she completely dumps it out the window in others, playing 'Rachel from Friends" as this character.

In the anthropological field, scientists sometimes have tiny shards of complex cultures from which to extrapolate the most intricate of civilizations. In this movie, there are pieces of "what it could have been" all over the place.

The Producers: The Movie Musical in Six Minutes

I love good musicals. I love Mel Brooks humor. I love The Producers (1968). I love farce.

This new vintage isn't to my taste.

People howled in the evening show I saw of the Mel Brooks-produced, frankensteined musical last week in Garland's new AMC Firewheel 18 with a couple friends. I had a couple laughs out loud, but not more than one and a half times, to be really honest.

You lose something going from the stage to the screen, notably jokes about intermission, the audience, and so on. You can approximate some of these, but they're never as funny as they are live.

The cameos from Michael McKean, Jon Lovitz, Richard Kind, Andrea Martin, and even camera-conscious Jai Rodriguez (a Broadway replacement Carmen Ghia and one of the Queer Eye feloows) tickled me more than most of the movie did.

Nathan Lane's "Betrayed" number was more entertaining than the movie that preceded it, summarizing the whole thing in under six minutes. Will Ferrell could only do so much to keep the movie entertaining too. The man's a mad raving genius in the right role. Gary Beach and Roger Bart were in another movie entirely: one I wish I'd gotten to see, because it seemed absolutely hilarious.

I've enjoyed the Broadway Cast Recording more as "isn't that funny, they made it a musical" than "it's revolutionized theatre" as some would falsely allege. It revolutionized ticket prices, and for the absolute worst.

If this was going to be the year of the movie musical comeback, we're screwed.

Ode to an Abomination: Grandma's Boy

I resist dedicating the time to a full review of the new AdamSandlerCo movie, but had to make mention of how horrible it is, since it opens Friday.

God, I just can't do it. I want to write more, but that's just helping them.